eeny meeny miny mo

I ended my last post with a very definite statement that I would be going to Goldsmiths University to study Sociology and Cultural Studies.

Well that might not me so.

I received and email from Durham University asking if I would be able to go to Durham to meet with the department and Mary's College. Obviously I told them that I couldn't straight away as I'm in France at the moment. I have set a meeting with them for the first week I'm back in London at the end of April. First of all I just set it as a 'why not' sort of thing. But as I have let the thought and prospect of Durham ramble in my brain it's becoming more and more attractive. There is no denying that Durham has a much better reputation than Goldsmiths. I also have a number of friends living in the 'city' and so have a house I will be able to live in for the next 2 years at least. It's also a hell of a lot cheaper than living in London.

However, it's not London and I miss my city.

I have resolved to not make the decision until I actually get a firm offer from Durham and I have been to the department and got a feel for the place. Although I have been hanging around there for the past 4 years, I've never stayed longer than about 3 weeks and I've always been on holiday or working on a play.

In other news spring is still in the valley despite a few snowy days and today I took full advantage with a 4 mile run along the river on the valley floor. Tomorrow I will do the same and perhaps even go for a swim in the afternoon. I do wish the swimming pool was open in the morning, I always prefer swimming in the morning not in the afternoon or evening, oh well. Only 25 more days to go and I will be heading back to London for a right ol' piss up in Soho.

sun makes the difference

So I think maybe my last entry was a little bitter. I was suffering from the winter blues a little. The winter is so long and so fierce here, the novelty of digging your car out from under the snow and wearing everything in your wardrobe all at one time wears off pretty quickly.

However, the winter has now warn off as well. Though even when it's cold there's a fair amount of sun here, the spring has arrived and with it the temperatures have started to climb. Last week I went for an 8k walk into the nearest town and back (getting terribly sun burnt on the way, oops) and was able to just wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I have also taken a few excursions over to the park in the valley which has a large lake in it as well. I've been jogging there, skipping stones on the water, watching fisherman, not skinny dipping as tempting as it is and playing on the childrens' climbing frames with G.

I also have friends here this week, they were out in Corcheval (sp?) in January but decided to come back out again this week. This time they're staying in Les Arcs, so are in the resort closest to me. I've been out skiing with them a number of times; it's so nice to be skiing with people who are the same standard as I am.

I now have less than a month left here and have my language course in Aix en Provence booked ready to start on the 9th May. I feel unsetteled, from a couple of weeks ago when things here were feeling stale, to it now feeling like my time is seeping away and I must make the most of the place I'm living in at present. The next few months will move quickly as I am doing something different every 4 weeks, so before I know it, it will be Septemeber and I will be getting ready to start my degree in Sociology and Cultural Studies at Goldsmiths University.

what makes a wall?

I ran off to Annecy this week having finally done something about having a couple of days off. It was a good move as my relationship with Bourg is becoming stale and I was in danger of thinking that all of France is like this one little town. I had to get out of the valley because after a while mountains start turning themselves from picturesque scenery into walls, too high and too wide to get around. 

Things that irritate the hell out of me when it comes to French culture (these are just things that clash with my personality). 

~Food is only worth eating if that dish has a name.

~There are certain times of day for certain types of coffee or drink

~If I do something slightly odd it must be something English

~Because I cannot speak the language properly this means it's safe to assume I have no knowledge of anything.

~There is an expected way to behave for every situation. 

~The only food/wine available is the food/wine of that region. 

Things that I wish I could bag up and take back to England with me. 

~When you walk past someone, you say hello, it's rather impolite to ignore people in your presence. 

~The coffee really is so much better here. 

~You are not expected to disclose personal information, ever. 

~My apartment.

Everyday I wish I were either in London or Aix en Provence. They are both less than two months away. I arrive back in London at the end of April and head to Aix for the 9th May. They cannot come soon enough. 

mountains to the left of me, trees to the right

I've been struggling for the past couple of weeks. Struggling to stay here and to feel like I'm doing something worth while. Every time I feel like I'm struggling all I have to do is go out into town for a bit, or take a quick drive, but the frequency of these struggles is building. I also know that to think this time not worth while is ridiculous. My language skills are improving without me really having to try, just simply from using the language each and every day. As for the rest of the time, it is what I make it. No one else other than myself is responsible for this time I am spending here. I have 2 more months here, 2 months in which to do what ever it is I should want to do. 

I have been reading mini biogs of "gay greats" and been being inspired by people making a life for themselves. I often think whilst driving that it's a dangerous thing than has become an every day thing. It's a large metal cage on wheels with an explosive liquid powering it. So yes, driving is a dangerous kinda scary thing when you think of it that way, however, to be in charge of a life and solely responsible for everything that life achieves, that's a more dangerous and scary thing. These are the thoughts that occupy my vast expanses of time here. 

I would like some high energy mass social interaction, this is what I am craving.