mountains to the left of me, trees to the right

I've been struggling for the past couple of weeks. Struggling to stay here and to feel like I'm doing something worth while. Every time I feel like I'm struggling all I have to do is go out into town for a bit, or take a quick drive, but the frequency of these struggles is building. I also know that to think this time not worth while is ridiculous. My language skills are improving without me really having to try, just simply from using the language each and every day. As for the rest of the time, it is what I make it. No one else other than myself is responsible for this time I am spending here. I have 2 more months here, 2 months in which to do what ever it is I should want to do. 

I have been reading mini biogs of "gay greats" and been being inspired by people making a life for themselves. I often think whilst driving that it's a dangerous thing than has become an every day thing. It's a large metal cage on wheels with an explosive liquid powering it. So yes, driving is a dangerous kinda scary thing when you think of it that way, however, to be in charge of a life and solely responsible for everything that life achieves, that's a more dangerous and scary thing. These are the thoughts that occupy my vast expanses of time here. 

I would like some high energy mass social interaction, this is what I am craving.